It’s been awhile since I have blogged, but after the phone call I just had, I figured now would be a good time to sit down and get shit off my chest.
This weekend, Angie asked me why I didn’t want to be a cop. I gave her my reasons, but got to thinking. When we came home, I hopped on the Google machine and started searching. Turns out, there are 3 positions available on Keesler AFB as a civilian cop. PERFECT! I was a cop for 9 years in the AF, and already have all the training. But is that what I want to do? Yes and no, but it would be $35K to $40K more than we have now. As I am reading through all the qualifications needed, which I exceed, I noticed that the closeout for the announcement was 12 May. SHIT! But, there was a contact person so I decided to call this morning and ask if it was to late.
I called the contact this morning to see if I could still submit my application. She said no, and that even if I clicked on the link to apply it wouldn’t let me. We chatted for a bit and I asked her what I would need to have ready in case another opening came available. She went down the list, and than she said it… “Your DD214 has to say Honorable Discharge.” Wait, what? She repeated it. So a General, Under Honorable Conditions is ok? I hear no sir, it has to be Honorable. Ma’am, it is under honorable conditions. She said sorry sir, the app will just get tossed out.
Now, I kind of understand that but my research isn’t done yet. I understand that if they have 10 applicants and all have Honorable Discharges, mine goes to the trash can because they have a pool to choose from. What I don’t understand is why? So your saying my resume, qualifications, etc., mean nothing now because I have a General Discharge, Under Honorable Conditions?
This is the part where I become really bitter and pissed off at the leadership I had when I was kicked out. I busted my ass for them, and when I needed them most, they were not there. I take that back, they were there. Just not on my side any longer. I was a piece of shit to them that couldn’t be trusted. Yeah, ok… 15 1/2 years of service with not ONE piece of bad paperwork in my record, and now I am worthless to them. Not even worth saving or being given a second chance.
But, here I am today spinning my wheels and lost in this thing we call life. The Air Force was me. I was the Air Force. I am going on 3 years now of being a civilian and still struggling to find my place in life. June 26th of this year would have been my 19 year mark. That makes me sad. So I left my commanders house and wrecked my motorcycle (after drinking), I slept with an Lt and and A1C that I shouldn’t have. I didn’t kill anyone. I didn’t sell secrets to another government. I didn’t do anything that warranted a prison sentence. Yet, I feel like I am worthless and have no value. Now before people go ape shit on me, I know that is not true. I know I am not worthless and I do have value. But unless you have walked in my shoes and seen what I have seen, don’t judge.
So where do I go from here you ask? Well, this may have just been the kick in the ass I needed to go through the arduous process of trying to get my discharge upgraded. It could take anywhere from a year to two years. I have to fill out some DD Form and on it I need to justify why I think I deserve an upgrade. This is where it will be a little tricky. I will have to write it like I’m not bitter or pissed off, even though I am. However, maybe the person reading that package will actually think, look at my records, and than take the “whole person concept” approach. If they come back and say no dice, well than, I guess I just move on. Maybe that will be the closure I need in all of this. See everyone else that was involved got off easy. The commander was forced to retire, the Lt got an LOR, but was allowed to stay in, and the A1C got NOTHING. Maybe that will help understand why I am pissed off and bitter. Than again, maybe it won’t.
Well, I am probably making no sense to anyone and am all over the place in my thoughts, so I guess I will close this. In the end though, there is one thing no one can take away from me: I am still “Pretty Good At Drinkin’ Beer”!